Monday, August 8, 2011

day 44

so just 44 days i couldn't eat anything...and you KNOW how big that is for me! i love food, all foods. but i just couldn't get an appetite. i'd try to eat, but it would make me sick.
in 5 days i dropped 5 lbs. i was excited. that was the easiest 5 lbs lost ever, and the fastest!
since's all changed. i gained 10 lbs since then. it makes me so sick to think of. i don't like that one little bit.
so i am doing a cleanse. not just to lose the weight but to get rid of all that "crap" (well i guess i don't really need "" around that word) that is stored in my body.
I started it yesterday, it's the cleanse you and i were going to do together...but i just couldn't commit, because i love my food way too much. but at this point, i really just needed to do it. so i did! and i'm so glad that i did. it hasn't been bad at all. in fact i'm hardly ever hungry, well no more than normal. the hard part for me is i sneak food without even thinking about it.
i'll steal a bite from the kids' food, or just grab a snack if it's out. i haven't cheated yet, but i've come pretty damn close quite a few times.
i feel good about being able to refrain. i feel so much more energy than normal, which is weird because the instructions to this cleanse warn that you will feel fatigued the first few days, but i haven't. i've been much more awake and energized. it's a wonderful feeling.

another thing i realized today. last week could've been a rather devastating one. and a few months ago, it would have completely stressed me out and gotten the better of me. but not now. and let me tell you that feels A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!! i'm so glad that i have stayed strong and kept a smile on my face.
things are surely changing for the better for me!

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