wow, 7 days! it doesn't feel like that long. the pain and thoughts are still so fresh in my mind. but at the same time it feels like so much longer. maybe because it's been 2 weeks since i've seen your face or touched your skin.
i faced the harsh reality today.
you may not ever come back. it hit me like a ton of bricks while i was sitting at my desk. i thought to my past relationship with j, i had questioned things but stuck around, not knowing how to approach the situation. then one night i met someone...
one night when i wasn't expecting it, not even looking for it, this pretty blue eyed boy grabbed my hand and led me to the dance floor. i tried to object, tried to get out of it by saying i had to leave but there was something that happened when he touched me. i felt a strange,, but simply wonderful feeling take over me. something i had never felt before. it wasn't just butterflies. wasn't just excitement that someone so attractive wanted to dance with me. on the dance floor i felt like we were floating. that we were no longer any where on this earth, but that we had been transformed to somewhere else. i felt a peace and a feeling of completeness.
later i felt guilty for it....and my marriage ended with j. j asked me to try and work things out, but i just couldn't. i had tried for months to change, to talk to him about things and let him know where my heart was. at this point i was done. i was wore out from trying and i couldn't do it any longer.
you were that pretty blue eyed boy. and now the story has changed. you are where i was, and she is where you were in the story.
that is reality. you are done.
i need a distraction tonight. i don't want to hurt knowing that you are with her. laughing, playing, kissing....oh god, i can't even go to what else is happening.
on the bright side, it is summer and plenty of things to do besides go to the bar on a friday night. the bar has always been my place for a distraction. it works. plenty of people to mingle with, new faces to meet. but i don't want to do that anymore. no, i don't...i want to find ME, not just someone to bring home for the night.
i faced the harsh reality today.
you may not ever come back. it hit me like a ton of bricks while i was sitting at my desk. i thought to my past relationship with j, i had questioned things but stuck around, not knowing how to approach the situation. then one night i met someone...
one night when i wasn't expecting it, not even looking for it, this pretty blue eyed boy grabbed my hand and led me to the dance floor. i tried to object, tried to get out of it by saying i had to leave but there was something that happened when he touched me. i felt a strange,, but simply wonderful feeling take over me. something i had never felt before. it wasn't just butterflies. wasn't just excitement that someone so attractive wanted to dance with me. on the dance floor i felt like we were floating. that we were no longer any where on this earth, but that we had been transformed to somewhere else. i felt a peace and a feeling of completeness.
later i felt guilty for it....and my marriage ended with j. j asked me to try and work things out, but i just couldn't. i had tried for months to change, to talk to him about things and let him know where my heart was. at this point i was done. i was wore out from trying and i couldn't do it any longer.
you were that pretty blue eyed boy. and now the story has changed. you are where i was, and she is where you were in the story.
that is reality. you are done.
i need a distraction tonight. i don't want to hurt knowing that you are with her. laughing, playing, kissing....oh god, i can't even go to what else is happening.
on the bright side, it is summer and plenty of things to do besides go to the bar on a friday night. the bar has always been my place for a distraction. it works. plenty of people to mingle with, new faces to meet. but i don't want to do that anymore. no, i don't...i want to find ME, not just someone to bring home for the night.
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